Rude Dude

I’m always on the lookout for possibilities of earning extra income, so when I saw a promising ad on an online jobhunting site yesterday I copied the contact person’s name and her office and mobile numbers. The following happened earlier this morning, and the dialogue below approximates what I remember from the phone conversation:

Late morning. I lift the receiver and dial a landline number. I wait a moment.

MALE VOICE: (Effeminate-sounding): Hello?
ME: Good morning. Is this [name of publishing company]? I’d like to inquire about the ad—
MALE VOICE: Kunwari ka pa. Kilala kita. Nakikilala ko ‘yung boses mo.
ME: (Taken aback) Excuse me?
MALE VOICE: Huwag mo na akong lokohin, Donnie. Boses pa lang, kilala ko na. Ikaw iyan.
ME: I’m sorry, but I think you mistake me for someone else. I’m Mr. Alvin [my surname], and I’d like to inquire about the ad your company posted at the JobsDB—
MALE VOICE: Ang kulit mo, Donnie. Nasa akin lahat ang mga applications, at walang [my name] sa mga iyon, kaya tigilan mo ako. Ang kulit mo.
ME: (Exasperated) I am NOT Donnie. May I please talk with Ms. Zapata?
MALE VOICE: (Slightly condescending) At nakuha mo pang magalit. She will only be here after lunch. Okay? Goodbye. (Quickly hangs up)

Annoyed, I take a moment and look at my filofax. I dial a cellphone number and wait.

FEMALE VOICE: Hello. Yes?
ME: Good morning. Is this Ms. Zapata?
FEMALE VOICE: Yes? May I know who’s this?
ME: Hi Ms. Zapata, my name is [my name] and I’d like to inquire about the ad you posted at JobsDB.com, about your company looking for writers and editors. I called up your office earlier and the one who answered mistook me for someone else and insisted that I was that person.
FEMALE VOICE: (Shocked) Oh I’m so sorry about that. I’m really sorry.
ME: What time may I call your office so that I can talk with you over the landline?
FEMALE VOICE: I’m actually on the road, on my way to the office and will have my lunch. You can call me after lunch. Again, I’m really sorry. I will talk to him about it.
ME: Okay, Ms. Zapata. I’ll call after lunch.
FEMALE VOICE: I’m really sorry, Mr. [my surname]. I’m truly am. I’ll expect your call.
ME: Thank you. Goodbye. (Ends call)

Early afternoon. I dial the office landline number again. I wait a moment.

MALE VOICE: Hello?
ME: (Slightly cold) May I please speak with Ms. Zapata?
MALE VOICE: (A beat) Are you the one who called earlier? Mr… Mr…
ME: MR. [MY SURNAME]. May I talk with Ms. Zapata?
MALE VOICE: Oh, about your call earlier, I apologize for that. I’m really sorry. I really thought—
ME: (A bit impatient) Could you please forward this call to Ms. Zapata?
MALE VOICE: I truly apologize for what happened earlier. I’m really, really sorry, sir.
ME: (Indifferent) OK. (Insistent) May I please talk with Ms. Zapata?

I am put on hold. After a moment, I hear MS. ZAPATA’S voice.

I really hope he got a nasty memo. That should teach him, the fuckup.

Influential Imaginary Icons

I stumbled upon this article a few days ago and felt it was too interesting not to post about it. In it, a recently released book, titled The 101 Most Influential People Who Never Lived, lists fictional characters who made the most impact on real people. Below is its Top Ten:

1. The Marlboro Man
2. Big Brother
3. King Arthur
4. Santa Claus (St. Nick)
5. Hamlet
6. Dr. Frankenstein’s Monster
7. Siegfried
8. Sherlock Holmes
9. Romeo and Juliet
10. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

For the full list, click here. My favorite? Right now, probably Odysseus (No. 24).

And since I’m on it, if someone asks who’s the most influential Filipino fictional character, I would say Maria Clara. If not her, Sisa.

October Occupations

After a prolonged dry spell, I have started writing a new story earlier this month. I have been quite fired up when I began, but right now I have this growing urge to file it away for a while and start writing another one. But I'm resisting it; abandoning an unfinished story, even temporarily, is something out of character for me. In any case, I'll still plod on and churn out a new story soon. At the same time, reading Kristian Cordero's Palanca-winning story last month had made me start thinking of writing fiction in Filipino, despite my total lack of confidence in and mastery of the language. I have even started thinking of buying Jun Cruz Reyes' Utos ng Hari at Iba Pang Mga Kuwento and Mes de Guzman's Barriotic Punk as an "introduction". The way I see it, it'll be foolish of me to start writing stories in Filipino if I have read so few of them.

Speaking of reading, I have been doing some of that lately. I have already finished Sarge Lacuesta's maddeningly terrific White Elephants: Stories and my friend Vic Torres' wonderful travel book Ciudad Murada, and I'm almost done with Bing Sitoy's provocative Jungle Planet and Other Stories. I plan on reviewing these in the near future. And still on books, I've added three more to my personal library: Gilda Cordero Fernando's The Butcher, the Baker, the Candlestick Maker, the Philippine PEN Anthology of Short Stories 1962, and Philippine Writings. And I purchased all three for the price of one from the just-concluded mini-bookfair in Megamall yesterday.

And finally, today's Sunday Times Magazine published an overdue feature on the Palancas--well, sort of. It focuses on a Bloc mate of mine, but the article underwhelmed me. It really didn't focus on him. I guess the fact that no one is credited as its writer should've been a clue.