Sarcastic Sayings

I got this from one of the many yahoogroups I've joined. It's just too amusing not to share.

MGA BAGONG SALAWIKAIN

• Ang buhay ay parang bato, it's hard.
• Better late than pregnant.
• Behind the clouds are the other clouds.
• It's better to cheat than to repeat!
• Do unto others... then run!!!
• Kapag puno na ang salop, kumuha na ng ibang salop.
• Magbiro ka na sa lasing, magbiro ka na sa bagong gising, huwag lang sa lasing na bagong gising.
• When all else fails, follow instructions.
• Ang hindi marunong magmahal sa sariling wika, lumaki sa ibang bansa.
• To err is human, to errs is humans.
• Ang taong nagigipit... sa Bumbay kumakapit.
• Pag may usok... may nag-iihaw.
• Ang taong naglalakad nang matulin... may utang.
• No guts, no glory; no ID, no entry.
• Birds of the same feather that prays together... stays together.
• Kapag may sinuksok at walang madukot, may nandukot.
• Walang matigas na tinapay sa gutom na tao.
• Ang taong di marunong lumingon sa kanyang pinanggalingan... ay may stiff neck.
• Birds of the same feather make a good feather duster.
• Kapag may tiyaga, may nilaga. Kapag may taga, may tahi.
• Huli man daw at magaling, undertime pa rin.
• Ang naglalakad ng matulin, late na sa appointment.
• Matalino man ang matsing, matsing pa rin.
• Better late than later.
• Kapag maikli ang kumot, tumangkad ka na!
• No man is an island because time is gold.
• Hindi lahat ng kumikinang ay ginto... muta lang 'yan.
• Kapag ang puno mabunga... mataba ang lupa!
• When it rains... it floods.
• Pagkahaba-haba man ng prusisyon... mauubusan din ng kandila.
• Ang buhay ay parang gulong, minsan nasa ibabaw, minsan nasa vulcanizing shop.
• Batu-bato sa langit, ang tamaan... sapul!
• Try and try until you succeed... or else try another.
• Ako ang nagsaing... iba ang kumain. Diet ako eh.
• Huwag magbilang ng manok kung alaga mo ay itik.
• Kapag maiksi na ang kumot, bumili ka na ng bago.
• If you can't beat them, shoot them. (Nalundasan)
• An apple a day is too expensive.
• An apple a day makes seven apples a week. (Really expensive)

2006 Philippines Free Press Literary Awards

Late this afternoon, I browsed through the September 23 issue of the Philippines Free Press and found that it has finally revealed the winners of its literary awards for 2005:

FICTION

First Prize: Sounds of the Earth, by Lilia Quindoza-Santiago
Second Prize: Blind Spot, by JB Lazarte
Third Prize: Nenita's Flight, by Fran Ng

POETRY

Third Prize: Nascent, by Jose Marte Abueg

ESSAY

First Prize: A Sense of Place, by Timothy R. Montes
Second Prize: Ten Scenes, by Rica Bolipata-Santos

CONGRATULATIONS to all the winners! (even if they won't get to read this.)

A Decade After Doc Ed's Death

Today marks the 10th death anniversary of Dr. Edilberto K. Tiempo, who founded the National Writers Workshop with his wife Edith and became the literary father of many of our best and brightest creative writers today. He may have been dead for almost five years when I became a workshop fellow, but in a way I could still sense his influence in some form or another.

To commemorate this occasion, I have posted below the first book review I wrote, published in the July 7, 2003 issue of the Philippine Graphic. The book is Tribute: An Anthology of Contemporary Philippine Fiction. I think Doc Ed would’ve been very proud of it:

Title: Tribute: An Anthology of Contemporary Philippine Fiction (2001)
Editors: Timothy R. Montes and César Ruiz Aquino
Publisher: Anvil Publishing, Inc.
Award: National Book Award for Best Anthology, 2001-02

When Dr. Edilberto K. Tiempo—creative writer, critic, and teacher—passed away several years ago in Dumaguete City, generations of creative writers mourned, and with good reason. As co-founder of what used to be called the Silliman National Writers Workshop, he and his wife, National Artist for Literature Edith L. Tiempo, influenced and nurtured batch after batch of fictionists and poets, helping them polish their blossoming craft. Under their guidance, many of them emerged to be the best and brightest luminaries of our literature.

Two years ago, two of them, Timothy R. Montes and César Ruiz Aquino, came up with the National Book Award-winning Tribute: An Anthology of Contemporary Philippine Fiction (Anvil Publishing, 2001), affectionately dedicated to Dr. Tiempo. If the collective sheen and skill the stories gathered in this book are any indication, it testifies a lot to how much he had influenced the authors, some of whom called him “Dad.” He would’ve been so proud.

The writers who contributed to this book include family (Edith L. Tiempo and Rowena Tiempo-Torrevillas), friends (Kerima Polotan and Aida Rivera-Ford) and former workshop fellows. And the twenty-three stories anthologized here, though written in a conventional, realistic style, are as diverse as they come, exhibiting considerable depth and mastery.

Consider the range they demonstrate at almost every level: from perceptive young girls (Gina Apostol’s “A Tall Woman from Leyte” and Rivera-Ford’s “The Chieftest Mourner”) to reflective adult men (Carlos Ojeda Aureus’ “Chinita” and Anthony Tan’s “The Cargo”); from the country (Jose Y. Dalisay Jr.’s “In the Garden”) to the city (Alfred Yuson’s “Big Street”); from Dumaguete and Cebu (Cárlos Cortés’ “Vietnik,” Tiempo’s “Abide, Joshua” and Bobby Flores Villasis’ “Suite Bergamasque”) to Indiana (Jaime An Lim’s “The Axolotl Colony”); from the poignant (Susan S. Lara’s “The Edge of Innocence”) to the comic (Raymond Llorca’s “Rhapsody in Khaki”).

Interestingly, two of the stories (Eileen Tabios’ “The Naming of My Child” and Ernesto Superal Yee’s “Valencia Drive: A Tribute to Dad”) have Dr. Tiempo as their direct inspiration; and Ruiz Aquino’s “Stories” won a first-prize Palanca, as did Tiempo-Torrevillas’ “The Fruit of the Vine” and An Lim’s “The Axolotl Colony.” Erwin E. Castillo’s “Ireland,” Ma. Victoria Kapauan’s “The Other End,” C.J. Maraan’s “Ghost,” Montes’ “Of Fish, Flies, Dogs and Women,” Charlson Ong’s “Bearer of Swords,” Polotan’s “Carpe Diem” (a reworked excerpt from her novel The Hand of the Enemy), and Danton Remoto’s “In Transit” round up the rest of the collection.

All in all, the stories reveal a clear, sharp eye for details and a firm command of the English language, not to mention a strong handling of different points of view, styles, and tones that persuade the reader to probe into the characters and situations they present. Much as I admire the thoughtful crafting of these stories, there are some that I inevitably like over others.

Aureus’ “Chinita” is one of them. What I like most about this amusing story of a deeply conservative man’s growing, even overpowering attraction to a pretty coed (reminiscent of Aureus’ Palanca-winning "The Late Comer") is the author’s strikingly vivid characterization of the protagonist, Ricardo Cáceres. Here is a pre-Vatican II Catholic living in a post-Vatican II world, and the author’s decision to use a first-person point of view gives the reader complete access to his solemn, surprisingly romantic, and ritual-and-tradition-minded character.

Religion likewise figures prominently in a more accomplished story, Ong’s “Bearer of Swords.” Here, he uses, to exceptional effect, both the third-person limited and first-person points of view to tell what’s essentially one story—a devout Chinese immigrant’s unwilling rejection of an oracle’s ominous prophecy, with very tragic consequences—from the perspectives of three deeply religious women—Siu Lan, her daughter-in-law Dolores, and her househelper Andrea. Ong divides the story into sections in which one point of view alternates with another, and it’s quite impossible for readers not to miss which point of view belongs to which woman.

Women are also the subject of Montes’ engaging “Of Fish, Flies, Dogs and Women,” but specifically women empowerment. What makes it so engaging is that the protagonist, a fish vendor, is clearly addressing another woman in the story; and the effect this achieves is a stronger sense of intimacy between the narrator, who recounts how she evolved from an abused, timid wife to an assertive woman while vending fish on the streets, and the reader. A fine story, and what partly makes it so is Montes’ handling of his chosen point of view.

But the most impressive of the stories happens to be the oldest and most anthologized of the lot, Rivera-Ford’s “The Chieftest Mourner.” One of this story’s achievements is that not only does it comment on a social phenomenon—the man-wife-mistress love triangle—but also pulls it inside out, allowing us to look at it in a completely different way. Rivera-Ford accomplishes this by using a humorous, even mocking tone and an observer for a narrator. The result? A topnotch story that courageously sympathizes not with the wife, but with the grieving mistress.

These, and the rest of the stories here prove that Philippine literature is thriving, despite lacking a mass audience; and that they, like the best works of art, can illuminate us, can allow us to see ourselves in a different light. But as far as the people behind Tribute are concerned, this award-winning anthology may be a tribute to a beloved writer and teacher, but it’s also a testament to how much, and how well, they have learned from him.

Glam-Rock Gnome Gains A New Gig

The now-complete Supernova (© Danny Moloshok / Blue Pixel for MBP 2006)

So, another Canadian—glam-rock gnome Lukas Rossi—clinched another Mark Burnett-sponsored rock-star competition to front a band full of mature musicians. Yay?

Granted, Lukas probably embodies the rock-star image the strongest. It’s obvious from the start that he’s going to be among the last ones standing. No one could deny that he’s massively talented. But I seriously, truly don’t feel his vibe, at all.

I have to admit I like the runner-up, Dilana much better than Lukas. With a voice perfect for rock, she frequently outclassed him in performing prowess and stage presence. But her questionable songwriting skills and her virtual breakdown a few weeks ago have hurt her chances. Tsk tsk.

I would have loved Toby to front Supernova. Of the final four he appears to be the most suited. He knows how to work a crowd, and the fun and energy that he brings is undeniable. If I had my way he should be in the Top Two with Dilana.

And Magni? True to his nickname—“the Iceman”—he’s probably the coolest cat in the rock-star cradle. He’s a first-rate musician, something that even his competitors agree with. But Gilby Clarke was right when he said Magni seems more interested in being with the band than fronting it.

As for Supernova, I feel it was wrong for them to cite the fact Lukas got the most votes from the public last night as their reason for choosing him. I think that shouldn’t be their only reason. But this is all water under the bridge now. Good luck to them.

And why do I feel this year’s edition of “Rock Star” somewhat pales in comparison to last year’s?

Until next year, I’m going to miss Dilana, Toby and Magni. And Storm. And Ryan. And even Dana.