Deciding to Die with Dignity: A Discourse

Not too long ago, I got to watch two foreign-language films that have more than an Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film in common. The first, The Barbarian Invasions, focuses on a stock broker who struggles to mend his relationship with his philandering, terminally-ill college professor-father as their loved ones—the latter’s former mistresses included—gather around them, supporting them. The second, The Sea Inside, tells the true story of Ramon Sampedro who, after a fateful dive that rendered his body from the neck down useless, fought for the next 30 years of his life to fulfill his greatest wish: to end his life with dignity. In both films, the bedridden protagonists do get to die with dignity, without any fuss. In both films, life is also celebrated.

These films, as well as that criminally overpraised Million Dollar Baby (which I think didn’t deserve to win the Best Picture Oscar, despite its merits; Sideways should have won instead) and the controversy surrounding the Terry Schaivo case—and to a certain extent, the late Pope John Paul II’s public struggle with and eventual defeat to Parkinson’s disease—brought the issue of dying with dignity to the fore this year. The issue lingered in my head after watching The Barbarian Invasions and The Sea Inside, to the point I feel compelled to write about it.

Deciding to die with dignity, to me, is deciding to die with little or no compromise to the character or humanity of the person concerned. Of course, this crude definition can be easily dismissed, invites debate, raises questions. But it’s important that one must first understand that person—his personality, his situation. It’s also important to determine the nature of the death wish: Did he do so with a sound mind, unclouded by pain? Did he do so after much thought, after realizing that all possible measures to achieve recovery, or at least long-term relief, have failed? Once these—and several other questions, questions which I shall no longer elaborate here—have been answered could the wish to die with dignity be placed in the proper context.

True, life is sacred, but what is life if it’s not lived to its full potential, if it’s hopelessly, irreparably reduced to something less than dignified, less than sacred? What is life if it no longer contributes or impacts positively to other lives in whatever way at all? This, of course, depends on who’s answering these questions: The person concerned? His loved ones? Society ar large?

In my opinion, The Sea Inside best examines this delicate issue, presenting both sides of the argument with respect, restraint and sensitivity, and at the same time remains to be an absorbing drama. Javier Bardem performs magnificently as Sampedro; one has to applaud how effective he is, considering that he basically acts with his face. In a memorable scene, one hears Sampedro’s voice recalling his unfortunate dive, adding that at that moment he saw his life flashing before with eyes, contrasting that with his attorney flipping through pictures of him in other countries like film frames, posing, standing proud, happy.

In contrast, my main complaint with Million Dollar Baby, whose surprising but plausible twist more than midway into the film had many critics raving, is that I felt it didn’t probe into the issue as thoroughly as it should have. True, the film is more about a father-figure/daughter-figure relationship than anything else, but still one can’t just start to deal with a certain issue and treat it without the serious study it deserves. Neither Clint Eastwood’s characteristically sparse direction nor Hilary Swank’s strong performance could mask that.

But in the end, no matter what, to die with dignity remains to be an individual, private decision. I believe each of us have that right to make that decision—as long as it’s a carefully thought-out, informed one—should that time comes, and as much as possible no one should meddle with that. Agree with it or not, that decision must be respected. And whatever the consequences, one must be prepared to face it. No excuses about it.

And just in case you’re wondering, I'm not on deathwishing mode. :)